When to Send Save the Dates: A Backwards Timing Guide
When to send save the dates: six to eight months out, nine to twelve for destination and multi-day weddings. A backwards calendar from your headcount date.
By Mia · 2026-07-20
The short answer: send save the dates six to eight months before the wedding if most guests are local, and nine to twelve months out if they have to fly, take days off work, or travel over a holiday weekend. Much earlier than twelve months and people forget. Much later than five months and the flights they wanted are already gone, at which point you skip straight to the invitation. The rest of this page is the calendar underneath that answer: how far in advance to send save the dates for each kind of wedding, how that date connects to your invitations and your RSVP deadline, who should get theirs first, and what to do if you are reading this later than you meant to.
The standard window for a local wedding
For a wedding where most guests live within a couple of hours' drive, six to eight months is the window that works. It is far enough ahead that your date lands before the summer gets claimed by other weddings, and close enough that people actually hold onto it.
Two rules sit underneath that number. First, do not send until both the date and the venue city are locked, because a save the date is the one message you cannot take back. Second, anyone who gets a save the date gets an invitation. The list you send now is a promise. If you are still deciding on twenty names, leave them off this round and add them at the invitation stage instead. Nobody notices a late invitation. Everybody notices being uninvited.
Destination, holiday weekends, and multi-day weddings
Three situations pull the date earlier, and they stack.
- Destination weddings. When to send save the dates for a destination wedding: nine to twelve months, and closer to twelve if it involves passports, long-haul flights, or peak season. Guests are booking airfare and spending leave days, and both get more expensive the longer they wait.
- Holiday weekends. Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Diwali, the stretch between Christmas and New Year. Families make those plans a year ahead, so ten to twelve months gives you a fair shot at the calendar.
- Multi-day weddings. If guests need Thursday through Sunday off, they are booking leave, not just a weekend. Nine to twelve months, and name the full span in the message so they request the right days the first time.
If two of these apply at once, say a destination wedding over a holiday weekend, go to the top of the range and send at twelve months.
Work backwards from your caterer's headcount date
Save the date timing only makes sense as one link in a chain, and the fixed point at the end of that chain is not your wedding day. It is the date your caterer needs a final headcount, usually seven to fourteen days out. Work backwards from there.
- Final headcount to the caterer: 10 days before
- Your own cutoff, chasing anyone still pending: 3 weeks before
- RSVP deadline printed on the invitation: 4 to 5 weeks before
- Invitations sent: 8 to 10 weeks before
- Save the dates sent: 6 to 8 months before, 9 to 12 if guests are traveling
The gap people underestimate is between the RSVP deadline and the headcount. Leave three weeks there, not three days, because that stretch is where you follow up with the last fifteen replies and it always takes longer than expected. For a multi-day wedding, run the invitation and RSVP steps per event, since the Mehndi count and the reception count arrive on different days.
Send in tiers, travelers first
Not everyone needs theirs the same day, and the guests who have to travel should never be last.
- First: anyone flying, anyone crossing a border, and the wedding party. Give them a two week head start. These are the people whose plans cost real money.
- Second: family driving in, and anyone building the trip around school holidays.
- Third: local friends and colleagues, who can hold a date on short notice.
In practice this means splitting your list into groups before you send anything rather than after. Group by side of the family and by which events each guest is invited to, and your send order sorts itself out. What each tier needs in the message differs, and our <a href="/guide/save-the-date-text-message-examples/">save the date text message examples</a> guide has wording for each.
If you are already late
If your wedding is under five months out and nothing has gone out yet, skip the save the date and send the invitation. Two announcements arriving three weeks apart only makes people wait for the second one. Put the invitation, the RSVP link, and a real deadline in their hands now.
Between five and seven months, send both but compress the middle. Save the date this week, invitations ten weeks before the wedding, RSVP deadline five weeks before.
If it is a destination or multi-day wedding and you are inside six months, send something today even if the details are not settled. A short text with the dates, the city, and a line saying details are coming is worth far more to a guest booking a flight than a polished card three weeks from now. Speed beats polish here, every time.
Getting them out the door
A save the date only works if it reaches people, which is why so many couples send them as texts now: read within minutes, no mailing addresses to collect, and replies come straight back to you. For the wording itself, see our guide on <a href="/guide/save-the-date-text-message-examples/">save the date text message examples</a>, sorted by style. For the mechanics of gathering numbers, adding a link, and tracking who replied, see our guide on <a href="/guide/digital-save-the-dates-text/">sending digital save the dates by text</a>.
Cordially Wed runs the whole chain from one screen: save the dates, invitations, and reminders by SMS and WhatsApp from a regional sending number, never your personal phone, personalized per guest, with replies landing in one inbox. Your guest list, per-event RSVP tracking, and wedding website are free. Unlimited guest texting is a one-time payment from $59, sized to how many unique guest phone numbers you have. Send yourself a free test message first at cordiallywed.com/invite/ and see exactly what your guests will get.